Lack Sleep!

I'm not quite sure about the reason behind staying up late to play CM4 and get myself so frustrated the next morning. Is it the initial fun? But it can't be, managing a team with give you headache, and that includes scouting for good players. I'm just not quite sure whether i'm doing my part as a student. I'm not studying, not panicky, still skipping some lessons, not doing homework and worse still not revised a single chapter yet! I keep telling everyone, "Yes! Yes! I will do it, I will make sure i revise..." But i don't think i give a shit at all. I think i'm doomed for sure, i'm lazy, i'm a darn procrastinator, no one can force me to study, no one can make me wake up. I guess it's just a waste of two years of education. Should have chosen the easier path, but went to the harder one thinking that i'm really smart for that. But too bad, it's too late. I'm stupid, i'm not up to it. I cannot not study to pass this time, which i did for all these 10 years. 10 years of skills and intelligence put into last minute studying was just a waste. This bloody examination is only for the hardworking ones and the gifted ones who never studies. I'm not... I sucked... Should i give up? If i give up now, there is 0 chance. If i don't, chances are slim. Considering the fact that i'm lazy and i'm often too easy with stuffs, there is a large possibility for me to choose the path to give up. But then, taking it with a look on the other side, I'm a person who likes to challenge the impossibles if i got the right dosage of adrenaline. Let's all hope that when i wake up tomorrow in the morning, i will be bestowed with what i asked for from the gods. Even if that's not the case, then i shall hope that i'm enlightened on my own and start to do the final rush for A-levels. Siyi is now mugging to the maximum, hope that she will really do well. Always have the impression that she wants to make something happen by producing super good results. Very good then... Then i will be the failure who will in return bring out the victors. Without people like me, there wouldn't be winners. So they should all thank me for that. Oh fuck! I'm not myself... I'm typing nonsense but i will still post it up to show all of you the inner side of me.