so late liao

haha! so rare for me to blog at this kind of time. Should be sleeping soundly if i'm like still schooling normally. Haven't been attending school as regularly as zhiyu and marc. I'm just to lazy to attend GP. I can't stand that monkey face. Better not talk about her or else i will just be making myself even more angry. Haha!

Dotaed a lot, from last week to this week. Went there quite a few times. Suddenly realised that i'm so shitty. Can't play well through the internet. Always losing out to the pros. Actually i enjoyed that kind of self-achievement to own people when i'm playing with my classmates. Because of us are still learning our way towards professional level. But i must say we are far from it. I must say that even though i may seemed better than them, they could kill me as well. Only if they made the right choice during the game. I mean there's a lot of times i went a bit complacent and outrageous. But instead of them coming to kill me, they backed off. Is the fear from my kind of playing? or is it really that i'm that good? I must say i'm quite chiong during the game. When i play online, i'm like a pussycat. Hiding here and there, getting killed while running. That's very sad loh. But no one understood my feelings. That's why i dreaded playing online. I hated it. No one believes that i play very little online. I only enjoy playing with my classmates. I mean it doesn't always apply that only if i win so i enjoyed it more. I actually meant that playing with them, provided everyone with some kind of standing space. At least we are not bullied until nothing's left. There's once i got killed like 20+ times, but i chose not to quit. Haha. In most cases, people who were killed and humiliated would most probably quit as let themselves being branded as Quitters. Haha... Can't believe that i could talked so much about DotA at this kind of time.

Talked to siyi for most of the recent days. Haha... Didn't quite believed that i could hold it there for 7 months. I must say there's really a lot a lot of people coming to me, asking me if i'm still with her. OK! YES! I'm still with her, stop asking me. HAHA... All of you looked down on me eh? Thinking that i couldn't have lasted so long based on my character. Haha... I'm quite surprised by myself too. I bet she is too. Yesterday, we talked about some very sensitive issue. Was about who i liked in the school. I was dumbfounded when she mentioned that girl's name. Haha! And i kept asking her, who was the one who told her about that girl. Without realising that i'm the one who told her about it. Haha. I mean i was really shocked by myself. I was quite an open secret for the guys in my class. But never to her and others. I must admit that i kept quite a lot of stuffs from her. And so does she keeping a lot of stuffs from me. That's fairness. She forbids me accessing to her supposedly "the another siyi" in her blog. And i agree to that, didn't probe further even though i wished to visit it frequently. but never mind. All of you must be thinking how we can get together for this long without spilling our beans, our own secrets. I must say the two of us are superly endowed with this mental strength that could manage psychological battles well. I must, must agree that she is one good opponent. I think it was yesterday night, i stressed to her that playing with mind games could be bad, or i should say very very bad for the relationship. And i told her that if we choose to continue well in this relationship, then it would be better for us to exclude the mindgames. Or else, we will end up trying to hurt each other. Haha... Transparent yet opaque. Truthful yet hiding with secrets. It's so so complicated. Haha... But that's us. I must again say that we are really one weird couple, i don't think any other couples could do this to each other. Maybe there's a lot... If there is, feel free to drop a tag on my blog telling me that you do that. Haha... My blog was never really fully myself. I die die also must keep some of the hidden me, well hidden deep inside my heart. Only i could understand myself completely. Haha... Sometimes i really questioned myself whether i understood myself. Even though the things that you read here may not be completely me, but i must tell you all that this is part of me. So there is genuinity here. So don't question anything here.

Read marc's blog, zhiyu's blog. They updated so much, so much about their life. Even though, it's like their but i'm featured there as well. Could feel all their feelings about the happenings because i'm always in their group. I must say that about zhiyu losing his bag is really a very unlucky one. I must say i can't feel for him. I've never lose my bag before. Because a bag is so big. You can't possibly lose your bag unless it's stolen or snatched. In his case, it's stolen. It's really bad. The WALLET is inside! The IC! He must be grateful the phone was not inside. Once old things are removed, new things will come in. Hope he could understand it. I really could not imagine myself in his shoes, i can't feel for him. Marc could, or i should say, Marc act as if he could, or i should say, Marc is more sensitive. For me, i could only say "TOO BAD!". I mean really what... there's nothing we can do for him. Nothing can be done at that kind of situation. What's with looking around? What's with searching the bins? What's with asking around? When you know all means are going to fail you and make you even more sad. The TOO BAD attitude is rational, is correct, is positive. It spells new beginning for everything that was lost, and a will to forget the bad happenings. No point trying to be sensitive about it and try to act as if we can feel for him. Sorry! We can't, we never will unless we really lose our bags too. Zhiyu, don't be angry if you read this ok. It's just my "inside" point of view about the incident. On the outside, i will be more sensitive and try not to let you think too much about that lost bag. Haha... See... it's so fake. But too bad, in this world, what is not fake? Anything could be faked.

Talked about DotA, about one big happening, my relationship. That should be it. The next blog will come soon i think. I got a lot of things to type if i continue to sleep late like this. Haha!