Nobody is reading my blog...

I got a feeling that after i stopped for a moment for not blogging. I lost the crowd that comes to my blog whenever they are bored. Darn. Can all of you please come back? I need some crowd to carry on. Hahaha!

Enough of all the crap, let's continue with this month.

3/3/2005
As what i promised the other day, i went to the gym early that day. 6.45. Gymed then bath then went to meet weijie for work. It was a long day. Did all the way to 10pm. The two of us were like given so much work but we were still happily slacking. Then, only to find out that we have to finish much much more work, then we decided to turn on our turbo speed. Weijie is a fast learner, can see that he's improving as days go pass. Good good. He says that i shall give him a few weeks before it's competition time. I gladly allow it. Hahaha!

4/3/2005
It's the release of the a-levels results. I was really not having the intention of go and recieve the results. It would be shit i knew it right after the examinations finished. I wanted to just leave it there and not taking it back home. Just consider that i didn't even study and do the paper at all. But no i can't. In the end, mk and zy and i went to take our scores together. The three of us knows that we are going to do super badly for this examinations. because we had fun together while everyone was mugging. We should have mugged... but it's seriously not the time to regret. Slowly we moved the paper up while another paper was on top of it. We revealed the first, the second and then the whole thing. I made it. So does Marc. The two of got stucked in between. It's a complete cert but it wouldn't get you anywhere. While zy was the one who gets to repeat the exam to his intentions. Marc wanted to repeat, so he went forward to appeal to repeat. For me, i don't have to stay stagnant. I like to move on, so i decided to move on without my brothers. Hope my decision would be good for myself. For THOSE who are probing to have my scores, please.... leave me alone... For THOSE who knew my scores... please... shut up... Thanks. Hope that by doing this, i can still believe in myself doing great stuffs after i get out from army. Or else, i would lose faith in everything. Might as well... just suicide straightaway. Actually i did have the intention. I got two pen knifes in my room. They were not yet been removed. I thought i would use it once i got the courage. But everytime my mum comes in to check on me, and clear my rubbish for me. I thought i should be fillial enough to not to do silly things to myself. But i really did wanted to do sadistic stuffs like drumsticking myself... or bang my head against the wall. Actually i don't mind lying on the hospital bed for a few days. At least, i punished myself for the bad things that i did. Or else i would always have the feeling that i'm always forgiving myself, then when will i start learning. Ok... should stop talking about this topic. It's actually very confidential about me suffering from some mental disorder.

5/3/2005
Was late for the soccer with zr and gang. It's been a long time since i last played soccer. I was a nice feeling. I get to vent all my anger on the ball... but of course not ZAMMING the goalie lah. It's very evil to ZAM the goalie. Haha.. even though sometimes i do that because i'm frustrated for being so lousy to misshoot. Then byao was generous to treat KFC. Haha! Nice guy i should say. Then, we went to play dota. After the dota session, sf, byao and i went to take a bus to outram mrt. SF stopped earlier near to his house while the two of us continued the ride. We happily missed the stop. Haha.. The two of us are always met with this kind of situation. Dropping off at the wrong stops. Then, we walked a long way before we reached the mrt. Haha. I took the NEL to my aunt's place at Kovan. I was filled up to my eyes with guilt at that moment. I was questioning myself about how i am going to answer to my relatives that how badly i did. It was total crap i should say. I really wanted to kill myself on the spot at the station. But i still managed to convince myself to reach there and have my last dinner. Haha... i ate the dinner alone which is good. So that i'm not subjected to interrogation. After that, i went up to my cousin's room to watch scary movies. 1 and 2. The show did managed to make my laugh a lot. So maybe i lost the feeling of suicide at the moment. Then, after that, it was a taxi ride all the way home. I counted.. it's been a more than 36 hours since i last spoke my last sentence to my parents. I was really quiet and i like it that way. I'm so guilty and i'm so glad that they know they should keep quiet to make me feel even more guilty.

6/3/2005
Went to Mus'Art. Was nearly late for the bus ride to OCC. Was supposed to meet before 1 as the bus will leave at 1. I was late for 5 mins. Darn.. so malu that everyone was waiting for me. At Orchid Country Club, around 2 something. We set up all the stuffs. and had a rehearsal there. It was fine. I was needed to play very important stuffs. So i'm in the very relaxed state which is good. The dinner provided was also not bad even though i didn't eat to the brim of my oesophagus. Because i realised that i should not frighten this lot of friends that i just knew not long ago. I'm so fake in front of them. i'm supposed to be the silvest that all of you knew. But when i'm at Mus'Art, you will swear that this silvest isn't him. But ya... i still manage to cover myself quite securely. Not because i'm not feeling comfortable... but it's just to be wary of some stuffs. Never mind. Continuing with the performance, before it starts. I saw Mr Ng Chor Tan there. Haha... was so surprised that he was big shot enough to attend this kind of dinner. We are playing in the grand ballroom. And the dinner is for some golf event for a Charity for an organisation. The GOH? SM Goh Chok Tong. And the other minister Lim Swee Say. Big enough right? I was so stunned that i need to play for this kind of guest. Haha. The event ended and i got home very late. I finally spoke to my parents. Guess it's 48 hours of silence. Didn't talk much, i went to sleep early. Not very early it's 4am.

7/3/2005
It seems that i'm jobless. My dearest boss does not seem to need this wonderful assistant anymore. For the first time, i was not needed. Oh c'mon. It must be that you have a new comer who is more capable than me. It shouldn't be. I'm very very sure that no one is faster than my turbo speed. Except for you. But you should be using me. I didn't probe my boss further about why i'm not needed. I wentto meet CL. He's late for 2 to 3 minutes But i still flared up ... erm i didn't flare up.. I told him the consequences of being late every time. It was a good deed that i do today to help my friend is arriving on time. Even though i was not able to make him arrive on time but at least he's only late for 2 minutes. He was happy about that too. Then we walked around orchard. The first priority is to get weijie a wallet for his bdae. A one round around the flash and splash in Heeren, confirmed our buy. It's the quik wallet that we are getting. We even scissor-paper-stoned to decide who gets to choose their own fav. Haha. But i believed that both were nice, it's just that we have different taste on colours. Then, after that, zy came to meet us. He was actually clad with a wet briefs inside. Was so stunned about that fact, i managed to convinced him to buy briefs at Taka to change into it. Although it's never advisable to wear new underwears without washing but at least it's cleaner than a wet briefs. The reason for wet briefs... no he didn't peed on himself, he went for dragonboat. I'm actually stunned that he didn't bring extra underwear which is quite stupid but i didn't ask him that question. Then, i happily brought him to buy underwear. I don't know what's in me that made me so excited about buying underwears. By the way, i love to shop for underwears. After looking at those that i liked, i will tell my mum and she will go and get it for me. It's so nice to shop for underwear. Maybe because i don't have that chance to shop for my own underwear for over 10 plus years, that's why it's still a fresh thing to do. And for all of you to know, i love fresh stuffs. I hate old stuffs. Haha... Then, zy went to change into his new briefs before we went to dota at cineleisure. I must talk about the dota session at cine. Those bastards obviously looked down on us, or i should say, on our nick. I put paedophile of course, it's my trademark nick. And we happily thrashed them very early. Even though we could win right away, but i told zy to back off while we do a second wave on the other side to confirm our victory. Haha.. They were really crap lah. I retired for so long liao still can thrash them. They ought to be shot for continuing dotaing. Hahaha! Anyway, they requested a second game. which i believed was a challenge. We took it and they should be glad that i'm using a strange hero that i don't always use. But so sad to say, we turn the tables right after i managed to save enough for a soul booster. And soon the onslaught came and i was able to save enough for AGHANIM sceptor. They are ought to be shot for not holding on to their lead in terms of money, level and the game. Then, douche(cl's nick) came with me to do the attacking while zy doing the defence and save enough for some real shit. We fought back and was able to turn a Nightstalker at night to be pussy cat at night. Hahaha! People who don't play dota and ignore this part. Haha.. It comprises of a lot of dota language which i wlll not explain. Anyway, simple explanation is that we are good, DARN good. Simple. Hahahaha! Then, we went to meet up with jying, serene, wyan, wjie and we went to Plaza Sing for dinner. It was really nice to have dinner and some laughter here and there. Keeping in contact is so nice. Then, after that, gerald came. And he just merely stay without having dinner. Then, we arcaded for a while only then we went home. As usual the MRT ride is sure to be filled with jokes. With our new slogan of LC coming around, i guess S14 is turning high class soon right? Hahaha!

8/3/2005
31 more days to NDU. I'm doing the countdown now. still Jobless, i dotaed at home the whole day. Guess i'm still very excited about the day i won those ah beng's asses at cineleisure. They really ought to be shot. Then, by night, Dad and Mum packed their luggage and they are off to a honeymoon again. It happened almost one to two times in a year. Guess it's time for me to practice some independent living. I hope that they will have a safe trip. I must say i'm really sorry for making them disappointed but hopefully they will enjoy the trip.

9/3/2005
WEnt to work. I was darn late but i didn't care a little. Went in at 11.30am. The girl was so impressed by my lateness and she was stunned by how i coded my brandtrak(the project that i've been handling all the while). I slowly took my time until 5 before i finished and was given a totally new project called Longbow. I must say that this project is a total crap, i can finish 30 pieces in 15 mins. CAn you count how much times i spent for one. It's super fast lah. I really indeeed stunned the girl with my typing speed. Guess it's time for her to quit and go home to train before joining again right? Haha... i'm so bad... That's all for today until now... Goodbye... And oh ya... i need AUDIENCE.. can all of you come back and drop me a message to let me know you are reading.. Thanks... Hahah!