Hmm...

Was wondering how come zhiyu and marc, the both of them decided to blog a long long post yesterday and told me to go read their post. Guess both of them was trying their best in blogging some interesting post so that i could assess them? They were also asking if i'm were blogging as well. Haha! But i chose not to blog, so that they would long for this post. Hehe!

Zy talked about his first rejection. Haha! Ok, that was cool. I mean he's the one who is cool, cooler than the girl. From the moment i learnt about such things like admiration, infatuation, love, and all the associated stuffs. I always respected those guys that never fail to be brave and cool to ask the girl that question. I would never have the guts to do it unless i'm been given the sign and message to ask that question. They could just put all their pride aside and get prepared to celebrate or cry. Zy, you deserved kowtows from people like me. I admit that i'm a scaredy cat. Of all the relationships that i've been through, it has always been the case that the girl did the first move and i followed up. If i were to be like zy, i think i will suffer much more times than him. Haha!

Marc talked about his temptations to play dota. Obviously, he was defeated by Dota and well beaten. Haha! He still accompanied all of us to play dota right after the GP paper. Then, he talked about zy recovering his bag from the police station. Should say it's good that he got his bag back, and his notes as well and also the waterbottle. Guessed after the dota session, all of us were much more attentive to our belongings. Bet zhiyu did regular checks for his things. Haha! I'm actually quite mean to go over to his side to ask him whether he lost any stuff after the session. Bet the question revive some sadness in him, but guess it's alright for him because the question came out from me. My intentions were simple. First, to remind him about the lesson. Second and also the last, because i care, that's why i asked. Or else i don't even give a shit about it.

Then Marc dedicated part of his entry for me, asking me about what i think about my As and my future. I was telling the group of guys in my class about how i'm going to prevent myself from repeating. I'm going to secured a 2 A 2 AO pass so that i could first qualify myself for pilot. Then, i will force my way into the pilot and make sure i'm a military pilot. And i will sign on and be a pilot for the rest of my life. I couldn't really imagine that i could have a chance of being a pilot. It's a dream so far far away from my childhood dreams. My childhood dreams have never ever contained any thing to do with flying. Probably because i think that i will never be that good enough. But then again, Marc reminded me that qualifying for pilot isn't that easy as what i thought. And do i intend to risk my everything and get kicked out. Being an optimist, of course, i try to shut out all the bad chances and only look at the good side that i will be going through. But since it regards to my future, i got to look at it with some rational thinking. So Marc... this is how i'm going to look at it. IF... IF... if i failed my As. Ok then, i admit i'm stupid, i will retain and retake. If... i passed, but the results can't go anywhere. I will most probably move on. No use hanging on. Yes, i know that if i force myself to retain and retake, i could have a better chance to clinch a place in the local university. But i dreaded it. I think i need a break. After 18 years of education. It's time for me to relax and fight on a later stage. But then, in this case, i'm going to forget all the things that i learnt in school. Damn. I hate how the way it works. All the path now seemed so bad, so ugly. Not like that path that i used to imagine when i got in a JC. Marc, guess i don't have much choices eh? Can someone SHOW ME THE LIGHT! TELL ME WHICH WAY IS GOOD? AND WHICH WAY IS BAD!!!!!!!!

Ok, after replying to their blog. It's time for my own entry. YEAH!

I'm going to talk about... what should i talk about? oh ya... this is what happened this afternoon. The most laziest fat cat finally decides to get down to the gym to do some running after so so many weeks of eating, sleeping. I should not say eating, i should say feasting. It's all about good food, and the good refers to all the BAD food that taste SUPER GOOD. It's all the fats, all the calories. When i got onto the newest treadmill (mentioned by siyi and my mum), i pressed start. And i started the first few steps with ease. Then, i started to run at the speed of 12.0 (siyi that's my usual speed), stitch suddenly came. It's so uncommon for me to suffer from stitch. I guess the engine inside too long never start liao, so sure this kind of thing will happen. So i rested for 5 mins. Then i start again. This time, i didn't even reach 11.0, i had it again. It's like so annoying, stopping me from getting my fitness back. Got so frustrated with my own body, i decided to heck the heart and legs and do some hand exercises. It was much easier. But it was a useless trip. No achievement at all. Not even a drop of perspiration. I felt so disappointed with myself. Can't do well in exams, can't get myself in good fitness. What a failure. Thought i could like praise myself in front of siyi for going down to exercise. But this is like shit. Because recently, we started talking again. She was saying that i should go exercise and get my fitness back, she knows that i've not been working out for more than a month. Guess she knows that i'm been putting more a lot a lot of weight. I was quite insecure, that's why i decided to go down to work out and get a leaner me. But now i can't even go on, i'm bound to get fatter and fatter. And soon, she's going to get sicked of me and obviously disgusted about the stuffs that i eat. Damn... haha, maybe she's not that kind of girl. But, i'm still going to feel even much more insecure with that extra lump of fats. I remembered that there's one call, i told her that i lost all my charm while she's gaining more and more. Am i like complacent? Having the mentality that since i got a gf, there isn't any need for me to look slim and cool. I could be fat and disgusting... Oh no, this fat and disgusting picture came into my mind and i was stunned and frightened by it. This is bad... This is real bad... I want to get myself out of the plight that i'm having now. zy and marc, it's time for us to run? don't you two think so? i seriously think that the two of them are really good at maintaining, while i'm putting on more and more. Nothing more to blog about, i don't dare to look into the mirror now...