blog because i'm bored again?

Didn't know what is the special reason behind blogging. Cos because whenever i want to start blogging. I will start to become very negative about my life. This kind of thing does happen to quite a group of people that i know. For example, ben from council and some other guys in council. We had a short chat that time they came over to my house for council bbq. We were all talking about girls and relationships. Then suddenly we just started to complain about the negative feeling we have for blogging. Always become extremely sad during blogging and after blogging.

Shall continue on the events of December 2004 before complain how bad my life is.

24th Dec
Countdown Christmas with my jc classmates. I went to bought my first pair of Levi's jeans. Then we went around the whole orchard road to look for prom stuff for the other guys who haven't get their stuff. In the end, we stumbled upon Domanchi and they crazily went in and flushed all their cash into that store and bought pin-striped long sleeves for themselves. I swear that they really look so in tuned, so class spirit! Haha! Then, we went to the NYDC outside Heeren to eat dinner. Zhiyu happened to see a girl that he knew. But he didn't seem brave enough to go forward. I helped him a bit but too bad... the girl is too power. Haha!
Then....
i forgotten what happened after that... i'm so sorry...

25th Dec
It's Christmas. What did i do? Oh... i had dinner with zhiyu and wchiat. What did i do? erm... oh ... i dotaed. Then... erm.. i forgot liao... Pathetic Christmas. Never did i ever spent it with such toned down spirit.

26th Dec
Slacked i think..

27th
Went back to JJC after one month of absence from school. Haha! WEnt back for FIT meeting for the Orientation. Got to earn some bucks in the Orientation working as a facilitator. hope i will be able to do a good job here. Then i went for Mus'Art practice at night.

28th
Rested... Slacked... didn't read through and practise the scores. What a slacker...
Went to Orchard with CL. Bought the black coat for 100 bucks. Ate seoul garden with the council friends. Then after the dinner, jason will and i went to 7-11 to get alcohol. We are like jiu gui. Haiz... haha... but it was cheap.

29th
It's the concert. I'm so happy because i got the easiest parts in the concert. And i did a good job in playing everything right without any mistakes. So so glad... Shuhui was kind of nice to buy flowers and come also. Actually didn't want any friends to come and see me be a weakling. BUt nv mind since she insisted. After that, it was dinner back at jurong. Walked home from CC. It was a long one. Took 30 mins to walk.

30th
It's the Graduation Night! CL and Gerald was kind of power enough to convince me to wear the black coat there. So i was there with something that i didn't expect. Then the night is cool. As in, i get to meet most of the jc friends one last time before i leave them forever. Then, everything just end very quickly. I followed gerald and cl and byao to MS. Actually it was DBL 0 but because no space, so we went to cheeky monkey. It was my first time clubbing. Dancing was kind of weird but got into it after a while. Anyway no one cares about each other. Just dance and enjoy yourself. It was until 3 something that we leave there and back home.

31st
It's Countdown!
Steamboated at Marina with wjie, chiat, huimin, jying, gerald and byao. It was kind of stupid to steamboat while it's raining. Haha. Then we went to Esplanade. then to the bridge there to witness some shit.. but there isn't anything. We left right after it striked 12. We walked to Cityhall and take Mrt to Cineleisure. Then we bought tickets for London Voodoo, which turned out to be a flop. Stupid show...

1st Jan 2005!!!!!!!!
I slept throughout the day until 4pm then i went Dota. Kinda stupid to dota away the first day of the year 2005. until 8 something. then i went to IMM with Shunfu, Chiat, Zy to eat Burger King. Then home sweet home.

2nd Jan 2005
I woke up at 1pm. My biological clock is deeply screwed indeed. Played FM... the next version of CM. which used to make siyi very mad about. haha... Played until 5 something. my parents took me out to have dinner. back by 8 or 9. continue playing until now. chat in MSN and blog.

3rd
Now typing loh.. so sucked...

End of Events
-----------------------------------------

Start of Complains

Ever since the rejection of the board of pilots.
Ever since the flops in Noel Concert.
Ever since the failure to pass in major exams.
Ever since the belly of mine becoming bigger
Ever since i lose my gf again?!
Ever since erm... my bad hair days increased by twice?
Ever since i didn't receive a single present in Christmas 2004
Ever since i realise that i wouldn't be getting any jobs at all

I have lost my confidence. lost my faith. lost my will. lost my fighting spirit.
So i chose to slack. I chose to stay at comfort zone. chose to eat more and be happy. Chose not to exercise so that i wouldn't feel guilty eating back all the calories. Chose not to bother things that will not directly affect me. Chose to spend as much as possible so that i feel comfortable.

I begin to do things that is not the usual me. I begin to be super negative about failures instead of learning from them. Taking the pilot interview for example. I failed that for a reason which i don't know. On my way back, a guy came to me ask for donation. He crapped a hell lot of stuffs but it was fluent and nice. I decided to reward him a $10 donation for being such a good talker and to stress to myself that i'm such a loser.

I begin to slack a lot and stop exercising. Having the idea that it doesn't concern me much about being fat and ugly. Since i don't have a gf, and i don't want a gf for the time being. So i just eat and eat and shit without sweating it out. Kind of nice to my stomach. but not nice to the health.

I begin to affect my performance in things that i engaged in. Taking the Mus'Art for example. Used to be very sure about my own abilities. I can easily take up any drumset score and played it. But i lose my powers. Probably due to those events that happened. I begin to push away parts that i'm unwilling to challenge. Unwilling to work hard on. I chose to play things that i know and very sure of. This sucks.

ok end of complaining about myself. Happy New Year to myself!